FBI Statement Regarding Controversial Arrest of Cara Ellison

This morning, Cara Ellison was arrested in connection with massive corporate crimes at her company, Cara Ellison Corp. While agents were attempting to remove Ms. Ellison from the vehicle, Ms. Ellison stumbled. The agent attempted to right her so that she would not fall onto the ground. Ms. Ellison then spit at the agent.

The agent has been placed on administrative leave pending an investigation. We have no further comment at this time.

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  1. Under advice from counsel, I am exercising my right not to comment.

  2. How insane am I that I have been waiting “for DBW to weigh in” on this?

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