Eye Witness News: Cara Ellison To Celebrate Birthday With Cruise, Party In Greek Isles

Despite her company’s recent hardships, Eye Witness News has learned that Cara Ellison is planning a lavish cruise and party in the Greek Isles to celebrate her 27th birthday. But not everyone is in the mood to celebrate. “Cara Ellison is a heartless bitch,” says Tina Horowitz who lost her job as a business analyst at Ellison Lunar Exploration in March when the company mandated 2% layoffs. “I can’t believe that while I am struggling to find work in this economy she would have the nerve to spend millions on a stupid party.”

Others don’t have a problem with the troubled energy magnate enjoying herself. “The indictment has caused a lot of upheaval in her life, even if she doesn’t show it much,” says an unnamed source who is close to Ms. Ellison. “I think she wants to forget about her problems for the short term.”

Ellison’s problems began earlier this year when a federal grand jury indicted her on 753 counts of securities fraud, insider trading, and various other offenses. The indictment was followed by the dismissal of many of the company’s executives, including Owen Kind, the CFO who had been with the company since the company was created in 2001. Sources have revealed to Eye Witness News that Owen Kind was one of Ellison’s personal friends, a member of the old guard. His dismissal caused consternation on Wall Street, and the stock dropped nearly 15% on the day it was announced. The stock has not gained in the intervening weeks. In the meantime, the company laid off 2% of the staff in subsidiaries Ellison Lunar Exploration, Cara Ellison Space and Cara Ellison Earthworks. The lay-offs were especially bitter for employees because of perceived greed on the part of executives. Ms. Ellison disclosed that her personal bonus for the year was $2 billion and others, including Owen Kind, took bonuses worth up to $500 million.

Last week, lobbyists associated with Cara Ellison Corp were seen at the White House, fueling speculation that Ellison was asking for a bailout. However, that did not come to fruition. Ms. Ellison announced that her company would not accept TARP funds.

When Eye Witness News caught up with Miss Ellison in the parking garage at her office, she said that her company is in strong shape. “Cara Ellison Corp. is one of the few companies that are actually doing well right now.”

Tina Horowitz scoffs. “If it’s doing so well, why did I get laid off? A freaking cruise? She’s a bitch.”

When asked for a comment about Ellison’s upcoming birthday party, company spokesman Perry Kanaly said that he does not comment on the private lives of employees. He did, however, confirm that Ms. Ellison’s birthday is June 15 and when we attempted to arrange an interview with her, we were told that Ms. Ellison will be traveling on that day and her calendar is full.

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  1. Tina Horowitz says:

    So what exactly did I do at Ellison Lunar Exploration?

  2. Cara Ellison says:

    If I recall correctly, you analyzed financial documents and evaluated the impacts of various partnerships.

    But you’d know better than I what your day to day duties were. : )

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