The Sad, Shocking Truth About How Women Are Feeling

Somebody sent me a link to the Puffington Host – a website that makes my ears and eyes spontaneously start bleeding. The subject at hand is women, and how sad they are. Normally I don’t read this stuff for the same reason I quit reading Frank McCort after Angela’s Ashes: all his books are about how much it sucks to be Irish. I’m sick of hearing about everything collapsing, falling apart, boo hoo.

But this article by Ariana herself, is stupid enough that the whole “oh pity me because I have ovaries” tone doesn’t grate as much. For instance:

When you think about all that has happened over the last four decades — with women securing greater opportunity, greater achievement, greater influence, and more money — the decline in our collective state of mind seems to defy logic, and raises the vexing question: What in the world is going on?

It’s a question we’ll be exploring in depth on HuffPost in the coming weeks, in a series of blog posts by bestselling author and lecturer Marcus Buckingham. Drawing on his years as a senior researcher at Gallup, Marcus has developed a far-ranging expertise on what all of us — but especially women — can do to live richer, more purposeful, and, yes, happier lives.

Marcus kicks things off today with a look at “What’s Happening to Women’s Happiness?” a post in which he drills into the data on women and happiness, and looks at what is causing the downward drift. He also sets the table for the coming weeks during which he will lay out his prescriptions for bucking the unhappiness trend, the subject of his latest book Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently,” which will be published on September 29th (just six days before our Books section launches!).

So a dude is going to explain in minute detail why women are sad?

Oh my God. This is so awesome I can’t stand it.

Women are sad because for the past forty years, old bats like Ariana Huffington have completely emasculated the men by making them feel guilty for being men. As a result, women are finding themselves acting like mommies for their husbands, and acting like bitches to everyone else. This is not normal. Let the damn men be men and let the women be women, and watch people flourish with joy.

So here we have a guy, who is so emasculated that he has become an expert on women’s emotions (just think about that for a moment), who is now going to tell other women why they’re sad.

If women are sad isn’t it our own responsibility to make ourselves happy? Or do we actually need a man to tell us what we’re doing wrong?

I’m confused. Maybe I need a man to explain to me what these big words mean.

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Comments

  1. Franc McCourt wrote 2 more books after Angela’s Ashes. One about his days as a young man in NYC, having ridiculous hilarious adventures, and one memoir about his days as an English teacher in the New York public school system which is laugh-out-loud funny and heartwarming. He only wrote one sad book, about his poverty-stricken childhood in Ireland.

    You don’t have to read the rest of his books if you don’t want, and many people didn’t take to Angela’s Ashes, but he certainly didn’t churn out 20 sad memoirs about “how much it sucks to be Irish”.

  2. Cara Ellison says:

    Oh damn. I’m sorry.

    As soon as I wrote that sentence, I thought I was going to have problems. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that McCort wrote happy stuff too.

  3. I agree with your points about the Huf Post article, but I just had to correct your analogy there. You can do better!! :)

    How about Elizabeth Wurtzel???

  4. Cara Ellison says:

    LOL. Okay, I will do better. I should know better than to insult the Irish – my best blogging friend is Irish. “I have lots of Irish friends…” : )

    What about Elizabeth Wurtzel??

  5. I actually haven’t read her books – but hasn’t she come out with a book about her depression and being on Prozac, a book about her bulimia, a book about how sad she is she’s growing old … it’s like wah wah wah.

  6. BUT she’s sold millions of books so maybe I’m just jealous. It’s funny – as you know, we’re trying to sell my book now too – and it’s slow-going, man. Times are tough out there. The “rejections” I’ve been getting have been amazing – really really nice – “we love the book, it’s not right for us”, blah blah blah – which makes it even worse. I said to my agent, “If I had a history of bulimia or rampant abortions, I bet my book would sell in a heartbeat.” So I was joking that I should change the title to: “I do not have bulimia.”

    hahahahaha

  7. Cara Ellison says:

    Ooh, yeah the whole boo-hoo, my pain is so important meme… seriously, if I see one more book about heroin addiction or alcoholism, somebody gets stabbed in the neck with a fork. What dreck.

    I hear you on the rejections. Those nice ones, especially from publishers, are tough. I always feel like, “please just hate it so I can quit beating myself up about it.” It’s the nice ones that give you cursed hope.

    Your book is brilliant though — someone will come through for you!

  8. The nice ones are definitely almost worse!

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