Angelina Jolie Smacks Her Bitch Up

Angelina Jolie gave an interview to Das Neue in which she said:

“I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship. It’s worse to leave your partner and talk badly about him afterwards.

“Neither Brad nor I have ever claimed that living together means to be chained together. We make sure that we never restrict each other.”

She added, “The sparks fly at home if the nice Brad fails to see that he’s wrong and reacts in a defiant way. Then I can get so angry that I tear his shirt.”

While I’m usually amused at celebrity babble, this quote really bothers me for a two separate reasons. The first is the issue of fidelity and the second is domestic violence.

I don’t understand the purpose of trying to have a relationship in which both of you acknowledge you’ll be cheating on the other. Why not just date?

Secondly is the more fascinating subject of domestic violence. I read the original story at the Puffington Host and many of the comments were appalled that Angelina Jolie would be so physically abusive.

Granted, the commenters are generally liberals who would love to find a victim in every story, but I have to wonder if “tearing his shirt” is really domestic violence. That last paragraph annoys me because it’s so arrogant and condescending. “Nice Brad”? I have the feeling that Brad Pitt basically hates his life right now. At first it was probably cool to be her boyfriend. She’s a free spirit with an exciting dangerous streak in her – she likes to fly airplanes, tromps all over the globe trying to save refugees, and has a fascination for knives. She’s certainly beautiful and she has children, which he claimed to want. For at least a year, it seemed like a pretty cool union, if you don’t count the fact that he left his wife for her. Then slowly, he began aging before our very eyes. On magazine covers, he looked like:

with children hanging all over him. He began to wear that ugly grey goatee and all the sexiness was washed out of him. He looked profoundly bored. He reminded me of a very nice guy who was trying extremely hard to make someone happy who simply would not be made happy, and it was exhausting him.

He does not seem like the type who would ever hit a girl. I think of Angelina came at him with a frozen leg of lamb, which I can totally imagine, he would just hold up his arms and try to talk her out of it while she whacked him with it.

It seemed like an intense, passionate union that was a bad idea — which was probably obvious within six months. So yeah, “nice Brad” is about right. I can imagine him sitting in George Clooney’s kitchen saying, “I left my wife for her. She’s crazy! I can’t dump her, I’d look like an idiot.”

“That’s because you are an idiot,” Clooney would say.

Brad, pacing the floor, would say, “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t realize I’m a fucking moron?!”

“This is why I don’t get married,” Clooney would say.

“I’m not married to her,” Brad would say.

“Oh, right. Well that’s why I don’t date crazy girls.”

And Brad would have no comeback to that.

So he bravely carried on, being photographed walking through airports in France and Germany with his twenty-eight children and his stunningly gorgeous, crazy-ass girlfriend who publicly says she’s screwing other people. Heaven forbid anyone be “restricted”.

So frankly, when Angelina Jolie talks about “tearing his shirt”, I think she’s minimizing what she really does, which is fly at him, all hair and nails, and beats the crap out of him whenever Brad “fails to see that he’s wrong and reacts in a defiant way”.

Sidebar: “reacts in a defiant way”? Isn’t that a phrase you might attribute to a child?

Anyway, as Angelina states that she tears his shirt, PoHuff readers say she’s abusing him. And maybe she is, but I’m oddly unsympathetic. I think any person who allows a partner to hit them gets what they deserve. My rationale is this: she doesn’t respect him. If she respected him, she would never raise a hand to him. And if she doesn’t respect him, it is because his behavior has made it clear he is unworthy of respect. (This applies to men too, of course.)

I think Tiger Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren proves this when she whacked him with a golf club (thank God he’s not a champion bowler.) He did something absolutely reprehensible. He deserved what he got. It is certainly not something I would do, but you can’t act surprised when your wife comes at you with a golf club after you’ve been caught sleeping with fourteen other women.

However I also think Woods’ situation is different from Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s. I think if Brad Pitt is getting the crap kicked out of him (and I do), it is because Angelina is an entitled, immature person who is unable to see that her partner does not exist only to act in way that she ordains, and she reacts physically. He’s not confident enough in himself to say, “Step off, bitch.”

Oddly enough, even the commenters on PoHuff who feel we should not be judgmental of their open relationship believe it is fine to disapprove of Angelina “tearing his shirt.” I think it’s fine. If that’s how they relate to each other, why should we intrude any more than we do when she leaves him with her sixty-four children to sleep with someone else?

What is the difference? Apparently, even as they’ve “agreed” that they’ll have an open relationship, they have agreed that he can get smacked when he doesn’t agree with her. Maybe he likes it. Or maybe he feels that it is a fair compromise in order to be with her.

I think it’s funny that some are so accepting of the sexual mores between couples but get nervous when that same principle of “it works for us” is applied to physical abuse.

States even sanctify this with “domestic abuse syndrome” which is typified by women who stay with abusive men and even resist pressing charges against them. Nonsense. If these women wanted to leave, they would. I agree it’s hard, particularly if children are involved. But unless they are tethered to a pipe in the basement, they can leave. Obviously they’re getting something out of the relationship.

But extreme feminists have attempted to criminalize even the most gentle domestic disputes. Our society now reacts in horror at even “tearing his shirt”.

I can’t imagine tearing a man’s clothes, unless I was tearing them off, but I don’t consider that domestic abuse. I think the PoHuff people need to put on their big girl panties and think of Brad Pitt as a man who is making the choice to stay with the shirt-ripping Angelina, just as he’s staying with her as she bangs strangers in hotel rooms. For Brad, a life of babysitting six kids, followed by a girlfriend drifting home smelling like semen, and then smacking him because he fails to see things her way might just be a great life.

Maybe that’s why he divorced Jennifer Aniston.

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  1. How odd. “The nice Brad”? Where’s the “nice Angelina”? I agree her choice of words here is very condescending, almost like she views him more like another child than her partner or whatever they call each other.

    I have to wonder if the openness of the relationship cuts both ways. I mean, can he have sex with Jennifer Aniston?

  2. And tearing a shirt seems more like a kind of tantrum thing than an abuse thing. It’s immature and volatile and maybe carries with it the threat of worse things, but in itself, it is NOT one of those worse things.

    I’m bothered when people overact to lesser things and under-react to greater things.

  3. Cara Ellison says:

    Both these comments are brilliant and just the sort of thing I would expect from a zombie sister. Thank you!

    Also, I love your rhetorical question about Aniston. I don’t think Angelina would be quite so open-minded about their lack of restriction if that happened.

    But man, that would make some awesome tabloid covers.

  4. Bloke From Virginia says:

    You don’t seem open to the idea that Angelina could be the one sleeping with Jennifer.

  5. I’m open to that idea!

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