Don’t Have Sex

I don’t pretend to understand this at all.

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  1. Andrew D. says:

    It’s a tease, and maybe a litmus test of your priorities. Did the blurb leave you thinking about sex or beauty? Anyway I think the “proof” actually suggests “use it or lose it.”

  2. Cara Ellison says:

    Honestly? It left me thinking about blue balls. It’s kind of funny thinking about this movement catching on.

    • Andrew D. says:

      Lol, I didn’t feel I knew you feel enough to say “blue balls.” Granted. IMHO blue balls decrease life expectancy, but you probably already heard that self-serving argument from a date long ago. :-P The text is satirical, anyway.

  3. Cara Ellison says:

    See, that’s the thing. I don’t know if it is satirical. I honestly can’t detect any wink in the text.

    It is the most cock-blocking-est thing I’ve ever read in my life but I don’t know if there’s a joke in there. It sounds like it *could be* sincere.

    I’ve heard blue balls decrease life expectancy but I’ve never been told or understood why.

    • I don’t think “blue balls” even exist, and there is an alternative method of release, anyway. As for life expectancy, ha.

      You’ve seen abstinence literature. It doesn’t digress into suggestive language about “tender, naked, loving sex,” “thrusts,” “grinding,” “fluid extraction” (an interesting way of putting it), “see, feel, and lick naked flesh,” etc. It sounds much more like SNL or The Onion.

      Yes, it could be sincere. I’ve gotten some pretty crazy stuff under my windshield wipers. Less and less surprises me these days. At the very least the writer is very conflicted and maybe should talk to a therapist about it.

      It’s ironic to argue for staying sexy at the price of actually having sex!

      • Cara Ellison says:

        I’ve not actually seen abstinence literature. But I would imagine it would be much more Jesusy than this. More “wait until you’re married” stuff.

        I like your last statement though. Yes, be sexy but don’t have sex.

        Chastity is only sexy when there is a chance it might be violated.

  4. Abstinence literature, I haven’t seen sexiness argued, More like, yeah, wait for marriage, or:

    Anyway, they don’t try to make sex sound alluring. Biology does that already.

    “Chastity is only sexy when there is a chance it might be violated.”

    OK, there’s one I never understood. And I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman say it!

    Being abstinent and trying for sexy might work if one liked attention without the follow-through? A tease?

    • Bloke From Virginia says:

      Chastity is sexy from the point of view of the person who wants to take it.

      • If one approaches sex in the sense of collecting scalps! I suppose it’s sexy to the chaste one to have such acute attention … from scalpers. I don’t think I’ve heard a woman speak of virginity as a turn-on in a guy.

        Now, a choosy person is usually more attractive than someone who hires all applicants.

  5. For someone who is undesirable(people like me) virganity is your sex life!! If you not beautiful, you don’t got play. So. You buy in to waiting is better beacause it help you getting on with your life.i have not have sex in … Ever! After twenty-x years without, I have expected that IT is something I can’t have. Ever. I want to of cause but why wake a sleeping gaunt just to leave it bore!

  6. I suspect you sell yourself short!

  7. Hm. I can’t say the various nuns I’ve encountered in my life seem “younger, fresher, and longer-lasting.”

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